Learning to let go

People come and go in one's life. Some dont make an impression when they leave and it doesnt really matter to you. and then there are some who mean something to you. and when these people leave you , you feel the pain and you mourne their loss.

But you know you have to let them go. they cant stay forever. but there is that part of you that wishes that that person turns back. and walks right back into your arms. there is that part that just doesnt wanna let go. its this part that understands no reasoning. the part that knows only to love and to miss. and this part of you is inconsolable over the years.

My shoes, your shoes

I believe people can be divided into two types.

One is the type who can never come out of their position and look at things from others' point of view. These people will find it hard to relate to those who are not on the same wavelength as them. not to say they dont make good friends. just that they might not be the best person to talk to when you have a problem. they will also never be able to look at their own problems from another light. they will never be able to step back and look at their life from an outsider's point of view. when they cant do this they do not see the situation as it is but, instead, always allow their subjectivity to fog up their perception of their problems. this is when they continue to stay in their mucky situations and find it very difficult to find a solution and free themselves.

Then there is the second type. they are the ones who always put themselves in other people's shoes and truly feel how it is to be that other person. they are the ones who will understand others' problems effectively and hence help them efficiently. they will also be able to step out of their shells and see their own problems from an objective point of view. they will know to put aside all that they know about their life and see the problem as it is. and these people will be able to help others and also themselves.

The second type is obviously hard to find. Anything good is hard to find in this world lol

I love the rain

The little things in life are the most beautiful.

The rain in the most mind blowingly gorgeous creation of god. the smell of the wet sand. the hazy blurry vision. the beautiful little circles rain drops form when they touch a puddle of water. the light splatter of the drops when they hit the bare ground. the music the rain beats at your window.

I love it when it rains as im taking a bus ride. i love staring at the way the heavy water glides down on the glass sides of the bus. the wavey patterns they make. the world seems to just melt with the water flowing down.

The art of god on mankind is not to be critiqued or analysed. it has to be simply appreciated and absorbed. the mastery of the One above cannot be comprehended by us mere mortals. hence, let us just revel in the beauty and divinity of it all.

What bother in life could possibly hog your mind in the presence of such divine mastery? what else other than the serenity of the cool drops can you think about? what other sound than the rythm of the rain can you be hearing in your ears? its the time to forget the world and your life, the time rest your mind and soul.

The pain is also mine

What is this feeling that people call 'love'?
Why does this feeling drive people insane?
Why does it bring so much pain?
What about it makes people do crazy things and hurt each other?
Pain such as that can be felt by those close to them.

'I see you cry
i shed your tears from my eyes
blood seeps through your wounds in my heart
the pain of your hurt shoots through my mind'

Just me :)

Its not like what they think
its not all that complicated
im as simple as it can get
just see me as I am

I don’t close myself
I don’t have secrets
I am what I tell you I am
and I don’t play games

I like to laugh
And I don’t like to cry
I like to love
And I can let go but not forget

I will walk aside anyone
But I wont hold hands
I don’t like to hurt anyone
Id rather get hurt

I wont ever leave when im needed
Ill be the shoulder to lean on
I wont ever stay where im unwanted
i wont burden anyone

I have paved my path
I can take a detour anytime I want
But I chose this way
And I will not deter

This is not a poem
This is just me
Nothing more, nothing less
Just me

Write your book

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Such beautiful words. And its so true. your life is your book and u write it. u take responsibility for all the twists and turns in ur story.

Fate is often associated with the divine. some say fate is what god has decided for us and has in store for us. it is always looked at as if its something out of one's control. as if it has already been written.

but if you think about it, you always have a choice in life. there are always two or more paths to choose to from. that choice is made solely by you. that choice comes about because of the person that you are, your essence. and it is that choice that determines your future in the direction you chose. hence fate is, afterall, in your hands, in the choices that you make and the actions that follow.

some would like to agree that our very choice is controlled by a greater force. that god makes us decide things the way we do. i believe god would never lead me to make a wrong decision. God has given us certain codes of conduct, how we should live our lives. its up to us to follow it and make our own righteous decisions.

some would say that we often dont even think before we act, that our actions are often senseless, impulsive. well, we are humans, creatures meant to make mistakes. but meant to learn from them as well.

If love is to...

If love is hurting yourself to prove your sincerity
If love is to lose everything to retain that one person
If love is to change yourself into someone whom that person wants you to be
If love is to be blind to all that is happening around you, good and bad
If love is to forget to think about how others around you are feeling
If love is to be oblivious to what those who truly love you think about you
If love is to be ignorant to how your feelings affect or worry those who care about you
If love is to disregard those who brought you up
If love is to lose all the beliefs and values that defined you as a person
If love is destroy anything that comes in the way of the relationship
If love is to regret

I pray to god that love shall never cross my path


If love is to shed tears at the tears of that one special person
If love is to want nothing more than seeing that person happy, whoever he is with, wherever he is, whatever he is doing
If love is to adore everything that the person is
If love is to dream together with that person and work together to achieve that dream
If love is to help that person reach his goal
If love is to belittle all obstacles that come in his way with a comforting embrace
If love is to smile and make him smile
If love is be happy together and make others happy by being together
If love is to fight and end a fight with one breath-taking kiss
If love is to find our way into each others’ arms in times of trouble
If love is to grow old together and breathe our last breaths in each others' lips


I cant wait to fall in love :)

Strength

What is strength? Is it being able to forget certain events and move on with life? Is it the ability to fight back the tears that well up in times of sorrow? Is it training your eyes not to tear at all? Is it abt masking your weakness and pushing forth for smth you are scared of? Does it count as being strong if your are crumbled inside and yet put up a brave and undeterred front?

Or is it letting the tears fall? Is it showing and admitting to the world your weakness regardless of what people might say or think of you? Is it abt confessing your fears of the future that awaits?

The ans awaits the one with the strength to face the music of life i guess haha

Happiness is a Skill

My fav quote: Happiness is a skill. Read it in an awesome book called If Minds Had Toes.

The most relevant quote to my life. And it truly is a skill to be happy.

Its up to us to decide what makes us happy and how happy. The problem comes in when we don’t realise that in-built capacity to be happy. Its often easier to feel happy abt smth. But much tougher to stop ourselves from not feeling happy due to other things. That is the point when this skill becomes our salvation. In other words, happiness can be the pathway as well as the destination.

Its like how you conjure a patronus to keep away the dementors lol. My patronus is my memory of all the good and happy moments of my life. It keeps the blues at bay lol

It’s a tough one to achieve. But indispensable once acquired. There is no point in brooding and crying. Only makes us weaker and vulnerable. The inner strength and drive to be happy has to be there. With that, we can always find ways and means of being happy after any storm.

A Beautiful Lie

Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The balance of your youth
Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
It's a beautiful, beautiful lie that makes me

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
That has too much to say
Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
It's a beautiful, beautiful lie that makes me

Everyone's looking at me
I'm running 'round in circles
Acquired desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game

So beautiful, beautiful (it's a beautiful) x4
It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful

Im me!

its true. no one can change me if i dont want to. AND no one can stop me from changing if i want to.

its just very funny at this point in time. once i used to think how weird are these people around me. like why cant they be normal like me? and one after the other i kept encountering wierd people right. and i kept ticking everyone off as wierd.

then wait. if EVERYONE around me is weird and im the only normal one then....who is the reeeeeeeeeeally weird one???

so YES i am weird lol. and i love being that way! cos its me. and i wont change. i know there are people who accept me for who i am. people who love me for the way i am. so im happy yar! my drawing really says it all. its just me again and again.(actually its babuji. she was my model :P)

"i am what i am and thats all what i am"
- Popeye the sailor man. poop poop! ;p

Brahmin girl reportin!!! ;p

is tamil/tanglish the language of your house?

do you meet other iyers and iyengar, only to find that you're related through your cousin's father-in-law's brother's nephew?

is your dad's first name your last name?

do you have an americanized version of your name?

is thayir saatham with narthanga urga part of your staple diet?

does your mom yell at you "etcchal pannathae"?

do you go to family reunions and all the men are wearing veshtis or to the temple and everyone is wearing panchagachham?

is "koushalya supraja....." on your family's regular playlist, and does it wake you up better than ANY alarm clock?

Are your parents' idols Rajini and Kamal (second only to Sivaji and MGR)?

Everytime you meet another Iyer/iyengar of the opposite sex, are your parents thinking "what a cultured boy/girl...marriage potential?"

does your last name exceed the spaces allotted for standardized tests?

does your family attach the words "di" or "da" to the end of every sentence for the added emphasis?

do you know your gothram offhand?

did you learn to sing or play carnatic music or bharthanatyam before you were 5?

does your family rant and rave about aviyal?

did your parents emphasize the importance of "Maths" every time you did your homework?

does your name have some deep-seated religious connotation?

have you phoned Uma on Pepsi Ungal Choice?

does your family have a crush on Uma from Pepsi Ungal Choice?

do you drink horlicks out of a tumbler?

do you HAVE to "apply" thengaai yennai to your hair on "velli kazhamais?"

I SAY YESSSSSSSSSSSS TO ALL THIS AND PROUDLY DECLARE THAT IM BRAHMIN :))))))))))and im lovin it lol

Leave me not

come to me
as lightly as a raindrop falls on a leaf
but dont leave me
as smoothly as the same slides off


Dont ask :P

Soul Of A Child

Working with kids is the most beautiful thing in life. They drive me nuts, make me wanna smack their butts and scream my lungs out at them. But the little things they do bring happiness such as I have never experienced before.

Their love and affection is so pure and spontaneous. They are never afraid or embarrassed to express their love. They hold no grudges. Having been screamed at only a few minutes ago, they will still be the most eager to share their little packet of sweets with the teacher. And when the teacher refuses them, they wont take no for an answer and will stuff it in the teacher’s mouth haha.

The most simplest of things matter to them the most. When u tell a boy to wait at the gate for the teacher and not move from there till the teacher comes no matter what, he eagerly puts up his hand, waiting for the teacher to finish talking. When she does finish, he eagerly asks, “teacher! What if I need to pee?” hahahahaha

And they are really aware of the teacher’s dressing style and everything! When she wears something different on some day, they ask her if she is wearing a new top. And they are the most sweetest things on earth when they tell her bashfully that she looks pretty and then go all red haha.

And, boy, are they interested in the teacher’s personal life. They want to know which of the many msgs that she gets during the day is from her boyfriend LOL. Of course, they refuse to believe that she doesn’t have one. If they do, they even suggest that she gets one hahahaha

Its an experience of its own, being with these kids. It’s the time when a person is brought back to his own childhood and feels his heart being purified of all the issues that haunt adulthood. It’s something that would tame the wildest of beasts and heal the most wounded of hearts.

Pain and Loss is the best teacher. Or is it?

If u keep telling a child, "Fire is hot. Dont touch.", the child will never truly understand why he shouldnt touch. The child does not know the concept of heat. He does not know the pain that heat can cause. Hence, he will never know the true danger behind touching fire.


However once the child has touched fire and suffered the pain it can cause, he will never go anywhere near it again.


Pain and loss often result in wounds so deep that they never heal but leave a permenant scar in one's heart. Even if it doesnt have such extreme repurcussions, the least it would do is make the person wiser about handling his life in future just as pain teaches the child to be more careful around fire.



But what happens when one doesnt learn even from pain and loss?



Every human being screws up their life to a certain extent. some to a very large extent. The mistakes we do in life are for us to learn from. the first step to that, is to identify and accept that its a mistake. when people fail to do that, they start digging a deeper grave for themselves.

But how much more pain is required to teach the most imprudent of persons the lesson abt life? How much more does such a person need to lose before he sees the reality of his situation? And, most importantly, what if its too late by the time all this happens?

God bless these troubled souls.

Sublimity called Life

Have you ever experienced the sublime?

Ive experienced physical sublimity in the presence of nature. its a beautiful feeling. when you are sitting by the shore. Staring out into the ocean that expands into nothingness. You feel so small and helplessly finite. Hearing the roar of the waves and feeling the powerful pull of the current, everything seems unimportant. for you know that against the power of nature, nothing survives. no one can fight.

Spiritual sublimity, on the other hand, is much more strenuous for the mind. there have been points in my life, when things whirl out of control. nothing happens the way i want it to. thats when i feel there is some force that is much more powerful than anything. it has more control over my life than either me or those who brought me into this world. some would call this force love. i would too, if i didn find the word too over-rated lol

Heart and Mind

The heart and mind as i understand it from my very own life is as such.

The mind responds more to carnal instincts and reacts to the immediate and basic needs of mankind. food, shelter, water,clothing, sex, entertainment. Just as an animal kills instinctively for food, the mind often behaves rashly in times of need or trouble. just as an animal doesnt stop to think of the pain of the other animal that satisfies its hunger, the mind often doesnt realise the repurcussions and implications of its actions or thoughts. i would go to the extent of saying that the mind reflects the animal in man.

The heart, on the other hand, i believe forms the humane part of man. the heart stops to consider and to feel. The heart questions. and it answers. the heart sets us apart from the beasts of the wild. atleast its supposed to lol. when the heart interferes in the matters of the mind, ethics is born. and so begins a war btw whats necessary and whats right.

ive crossed many such junctures in my life. where the heart and the mind part ways. but its up to us to make them meet at a midpoint and have a balance of both whats necessary and whats right. for this is a world in an era where absolutes dont exist.

My Bed of Roses and thorns

i named my blog as such cos that is what my life has been so far. a simple bed of roses and thorns. ive felt the silky brush of the rose petals soothing me and ive also felt the pain of the thorns pricking and making me bleed. however, i must say i got a good equal share of both.

this is life as i understand it. the good and the bad will take their turns. never fail to bathe in the joy of the good. never fail to face up to and learn from the bad. and whatever i do or dont, i never fail to laugh at myself! haha ive found it to be the best way to keep the spirits up in any situation!